We dismiss the existence of the island kingdoms of La Ooo Ooo Kah Té and Sea Niç to be myths.
Face it, if you’re a sailor press-ganged into naval service, you have to have something to look forward to.
That something is La Ooo Ooo Kah Té and Sea Niç.
But the editors are looking to fill up this volume so they can charge more, so here goes.
At very least, you can use it to distract the children from the abject terror between sundown and sunrise on Samhain.
Geography
Lo Ooo Ooo Kah Ooo Té and Sea Niç two island chains in close proximity to each other, somewhere in the warm oceans south and west of Thela Hun Jinjeet and to the north and east of Marshland.
This is complete nonsense.
It is said that the islands formed from “hotspots” of creative energy that remained deep beneath Ur and rose near the surface at the sea floor of the waters of the southern oceans.
This is complete nonsense.
It is also said that ships sailing in this region are drawn to these mystical lands by the irresistible charms of the lush, verdant islands. The sailors, thus ensorcelled, lead a charmed life of ease and comfort on these far and foreign shores.
This is complete nonsense.
All of this begs the question, if all who near the place stay in the place, exactly who is it saying all these things about its geography?
Economy
La Ooo Ooo Kah Ooo Té and Sea Niç do not exist, and therefore they have no economy.
But, if it pleases the editors, let us just say that the currency there is made up of golden seashells thrown on to the beaches by giant sea turtles when they come to nest.
The main economy is the mass production of happiness, which is the principle commodity of the place.
Nobody works there.
Agriculture is dedicated to growing candy and milking sugar cane for its rum.
Politics
They don’t exist.
There are no politics there, because they don’t exist.
But, sure, why not?
Great King Frikafrakafirecrackasisboombah rules as the benevolent High Priest of the Island’s Fire God.
He’s loved and adored.
And, sure, why not….
He’s got a lovely daughter.
People fight for her hand in marriage.
No one has succeed the challenge or challenges.
This could be your shot, kid.
Religion
See Politics, above.
Law
There is none and no need for it in La Ooo Ooo Kah Ooo Té and Sea Niç. But, if you do trespass, they throw you in a volcano with an apple stuffed in your mouth.
Culture
The got plenty.
They got singing.
They got dancing.
Grass skirts, fire jugglers, and lots of dance steps involving the stomping out of burning skirts.
The locals throw flowers at you when you arrive.
Having you over for dinner is as likely or not a suggestion about the menu.
We give it five stars.
Travel To And From
To get there, it the second from the right and straight ahead to morning. So, we suppose to return go left and crookedly until night.
Send us a postcard when you get there.