It is a long held belief that what goes up must come down. This is undoubtably true, except in топографический океан where what goes up might stay there. топографический океан is a very strange place, but more of that later. This travel guide is about The Many Miserable Isles.
The defining quality of the Many Miserable Isles are all of the things that went up briefly and came right back down very, very rapidly when whatever was there before the cataclysm took a direct hit from a powerful thaumanuclear ‘patalogical blast.
Situated north of Merdreterre, the Many Miserable Isles are a collection small islands at the northern end of the Inner Sea of Misery, between the Mostly and Completely Useless Peninsulas. To the north of the Many Miserable Islands is the Isle of Craptopia.
Geography
It’s all in a name. Really, there’s not much more to say about it.
Economy
Sitting in the middle of a highly ‘patalogical radiation zone, there are very few viable industries in the Many Miserable Isles — unless, of course, you consider mutation productivity, in which case the GNP of the Many Miserable Isles is going gangbusters.
Do not eat anything grown, fished, or spontaneously manifested there.
Nothing of any value has been found by Adventurers in the Many Miserable Island. That said, nothing takes a direct hit from a power ‘patalogical weapon unless there was something important there until it quite suddenly wasn’t there anymore.
If you feel up to it, get your insurance in order and take a moment to consider your epitaph. You will have it for a long time, so you might as well get it right.
Culture
There are only two known permanent inhabitants of the Many Miserable Isle. The culture of the place is whatever they are having for dinner and doing that evening.
The Halfling historian Harnard Hailyn argues the site is of great cultural historical significance.
Namely, he maintains that it is the location of Pataphor’s tower.
His argument is an inference based on several key clues:
First, there is the foundation of a structure located on the Greater Useless Peninsula, which he contends is the footing of a massive bridge reaching from what was Gloriana into the inland sea; something very important, he concludes, was at the other end of that span.
Second, there are all of the very large blocks of worked stone found across Merdreterre and Craptopia, which Hailyn argues are parts of Pataphor’s tower that rained down on the country side.
Third, it is known that Clineman’s Tower and Pataphor’s Tower could look upon each other; since we know Clineman’s Tower was located at what is now Abandon City, where the hell else could the damn thing have been?
The counter argument to Hailyn’s theory went like this: “Hey! Look over there at that short nerd with his nose in a book! Let’s throw things at him!”
The counter argument continues to be the prevailing one.
Politics
We suppose, from time to time, the only two occupants of the Many Miserable Isles disagree with each other.
Law
We presume one of the two inhabitants of the island is richer, bigger, older, or scarier than the other. Perhaps they get along by some kind of mutual agreement, but who are we trying kid? It’s a dog eat dog world and one of them must be the bigger.
Traveling to and From the Many Miserable Isles
If you are transporting goods in or out of Merdreterre, you are going to sail past the Many Miserable Isles, either along the cost of the Lesser Useless Peninsula, or if you prefer the Greater Useless Peninsula. It’s your choice. They’re both pretty useless.
You will have to drop anchor and row to any of the isles. Do try to mediate on that for just the briefest of moments: you will have to drop anchor in a highly radiant field of ‘patalogical fallout. Gosh, that does sound appealing, doesn’t it?
At the ruins of what Hailyn claims to be the footing of a great bridge, there is now a ferry stop of some kind. Since there are only two people in the Many Miserable Isles, it is something of a mystery how there is always someone waiting to take travelers into the Isles, especially as the ferry inevitably arrives just after the travelers get there.
Curiosity killed the cat they say. It also killed everyone else. So, just keep going past the Many Miserable Isles as fast as you can to your final destination and thankful about it.