Time is many things: money, flying, something that abides, etc; it is also right honest pain in the ass.
Nobody is quite sure how Ur managed time before the cataclysm. We know there was time, because we know the ‘patalogical Sorcerers lived a long time. We don’t say they lived “unusal amount cell reproduction cycles” or “many more inches of finger nails trimmed than typical.”
What ever they did for time before the Cataclysm, there was very little use for it after the Cataclysm. Turning field for planting or sheering the flock wasn’t something determined by date.
Although in Vulgaria, the Most Omnipotentate of Growy-Things, one Vilysenko the Bad Tempered, has set ridged guideline in advance for central planting and harvesting, which is why most food eaten in Vulgaria is grown in Vichy-Merdreterre — which is true for the Vampires, also.
As things began to get organized, questions about time started becoming more important.
For example, Halflings wanted to know exactly at what time was it proper to serve alcohol — which didn’t bother Humans, who answer the question with one word: now.
At what time do we send in the calvary after the foot solders advance? That was another popular question that required something more than a vague “soonish,” at least as far as the foot soldiers were concerned.
And, so the wizards of Ur decided it was time to get around to time.
The wizards of Merdreterre Institute of Technology decided on a system of counting time based on a series of escalating prime numbers. Most agreed that this was a very good system, save for the fact that the answer to the question “What time is it now” required so much calculating that the answer would end up being something like “three days ago.”
At the Resselaer ‘Pataphysical Institute, they had come up with a system of time that involved throwing heavy blocks of varying weight into a group of novices running an obstacle course. Somehow the score of the game was the time of the day, and the laughter behind closed doors of the Senior Lecturers’ lounge wasn’t a tip off to the novices, for some reason.
In Schisseplatz, however, time was a matter of life and death for most, as in the question “how long is until the next full moon?” Or, “how long does the door have to hold out before sunrise?”
And so, the wizards of the Pax Lanck Institute in Grand Fenwick set about measure time according the phases of the moon.
There are 13 months, each month is 28 days long, running from Full Moon to Full Moon. Mid-month is known as ‘The Dark of the Month.’ The beginning and end of the month is known as “Shit.”
These differing standards of time made diplomatic and military coordination a difficult undertaking, and so it was decided by the wizards that there should be a standard. Each wizarding university insisted theirs was the best and should be the standard, though the wizards of RPI often had to regain their composure during arguments.
This went on for some time (how much depending on who you were talking to) until the wizards of Merdreterre solved the problem by inviting all the wizards to Grand Fenwick for a summit to discuss standardization. There would be a great deal of food and drink, lavish accommodations, and plenty of time for recreation of all sorts. Most importantly travel to and from the conference would take place from one full moon to another. The lunar calendar was rapidly agreed to by the survivors of the journey to the conference.
The first month of the year is Absolu.
Absolu is followed by Haha, As, Sable, Decervelage, Gueules, Pedale, Clinamen, Palotin, Merdre, Gidouille, Tatane, and Phalle.
Each month is 28 days long.
There is a leap day Absolu… well, everyone e and a while. As the wizards of Pax Lanck in Grand Fenwick, if you can find them.
The major holidays on Ur are:
– New Year (Absolu 1)
– Long Night (Sable 22)
– Short Night (Gidouille 8),
– Half Way There (Pedale 8),
– Half Way From (Phalle 14),
– Day of the Prognosticating Marmot (Gueueles 8),
– Day of the Drunkards Walk (Gidouille 2),
– Day of the Burning Effigy (As 3),
– Samhain (Haha 26).
Important safety tips: – DO NOT GO OUTSIDE ON THE NIGHT OF HAHA 26.
The Wizards set the year at -500, since they figured it would take five hundred years before the world got itself sufficiently sorted out that they could start counting time forward. It is generally agreed that they were overly optimistic.
There are twenty-eight hours in a day, there are fifty-two hours in a day. There are fifty-two minutes in an hour. There are a foophalpoopaplex of seconds in a minute.
The wizards of RPI insisted on the foophalpoopaplex, and the gnomes have not yet managed a time piece so accurate it can measure anything beyond a minute. So, everyone has just kicked that can down the road for the time being.