Merdreterre is a nation located on the western side of the Split Continent. It borders Schisseplatz to the east and Vichy-Merdreterre to the south. The Many Miserable Isles are to the north.
Geography
The western and northern regions of Merdreterre are the coastal shore at the edge of the Sea of Bad Decision Making. The main industries in the coastal region are fishing and funerary services on behalf of fishermen.
Inland is mostly a flat coastal plane leading to the eastern piedmont approaching the boarder with Schisseplatz. The main industry of the coastal plane is agriculture (dominantly turnip farming) and funerary services on behalf of farmers.
The capital of Merdreterre is Ur-et-Scatia. During the time of the Sorcerers, this was a fort guarding the estuary where the Black River meets the Inland Sea of Misery. It was the backwater of the nation (once known as Gloriana), and you didn’t want to be stationed there. People assigned to a posting at this fort were typically greeted on their first day with the question, “What did you do?”
There are several smaller towns and villages, mostly supporting either the fishing or farming industries as suppliers of goods and services or as markets for turnips.
The southern boarder is marked by Imagino’s Line. This is series of earthworks and small forts that establishes the defensive perimeter from the occupied Vichy-Merdreterre, a conquered principality of Vulgaria. The main gate of Imagino’s Line is L’Arc Defeat, which had been the main gate to the city of Gloriana where Clineman built his Tower. Gloriana took a direct hit from a Thaumaturgical-Nuclear Weapon, and what remains of it is a highly radiant field of ‘patalogical fallout — and bugger all else.
(This city is now call Abandon City. It is not called “Abandoned City,” meaning the city that is abandoned and bereft of live and livelihood. It is “Abandon City” as in “Everyone over the side!” or “Flee for your life!” or “Hurry! They’re closing the gates!” You get the idea.)
This presents something a problem for Ur-et-Scatia. The Black River, once a very blue river, flowed from Gloriana, which had been built on its banks. Trade used to flow up and down the river, and in more recent times monstrosities flow down it. Several outposts have been established to keep things from the south in the south, but from time to time Ur-et-Scatia finds itself infested with some sort of horror in the sewers.
The terrain rises steadily to the east, where the Boarder Mountains separate Merdreterre from Schisseplatz.
Economy
Coin of the realm is weighted on the turnip standard. Copper is fixed to the weight of a turnip. Turnips vary in weight, however, leading to many disagreements about how much money in turnips someone has. What generally keeps this problem from erupting into public discord is the fact that almost nobody at all has any money whatsoever, nobody actually likes turnips in the first place, and most of the turnips in question get eaten during the argument itself.
Sea Trade with Ithulvania and Newur pass through the highly radiant fallout of the direct hit on Pataphor’s Tower. This has made trade difficult, expensive, and occasionally random — as goods in the cargo have a habit of spontaneous transfiguration in while inside the hold.
Recent reconstruction of the massive sea going vessels from the height of Sorcery means that sailors are now capable of traveling rapidly enough through the channels on either side of the Greater or Lesser Useless Peninsulas without significant risk of deformation — either to cargo or crew.
The supply of manufactured goods to Merdreterre is beginning to pile up on the city docks. While supply side economics has been put forth by most of the evil-minded wizards of Ur, in practice having manufactured goods hasn’t created any wealth among the farmers and the fisherman. Having nothing to exchange with merchants for those goods, the goods remain unsold by merchants who fail to grasp the notion of utility value.
Curiously, the merchants are also reluctant to part with these goods, as having manufactured objects is a symbol of wealth. This symbolic value seems to have more choice value to Ur-et-Scatians than the turnips they might exchange in a transaction. Basically, to prefer a bunch of useless things to food means you are very rich indeed.
Consequently. the arrival of these manufactured goods has not created a jump start to the economy the evil wizards had hoped — but is a surprise to no one else, because what to you expect to come from the plotting of evil wizards?
The supply of manufactured goods stockpiling on the docks of Merdreterre has created a demand for Adventuring across L’Arc Defeat. Merchants will exchange manufactured goods for platinum, gold, and silver — and there’s plenty of that through the gate to the former city of Gloriana. What these merchants want of all of this is somewhat mysterious, since about the only things they can purchase with these monies are the manufactured goods they already possess. While this baffles most people, Druids are not in the least bit surprised, being close to nature, and therefore knowing most people are idiots.
Culture
Merdreterre is known mostly for its racism. Second to racism, it is accomplished in its sexism.
Dwarves, Gnomes, Halflings, and Humans are generally welcome in Merdreterre, and all are eligible for citizenship. Everyone else is unwelcome, and eligible only for the work that Dwarves, Gnomes, Halflings and Humans generally will not do.
Mixed races are especially poorly regarded. They may be attacked by mobs, who think that mobs and mob violence are the mark of a culturally superior species.
Slavery is strictly illegal in Merdreterre, but indentured servitude is common, where indentured servants have no rights, station, freedom, or privileges under the law. But, to be clear, that’s not slavery. We’re all clear on that. Right?
When it comes to the arts, humanities, and social sciences, there are none. If you have enough time for any of that then you are by definition living somewhere other than cesspit of Merdreterre. Most art, comedy, and philosophy involves jesters and flatulence. Public gatherings are to be avoided.
Religion
All faiths are tolerated so long as they pay their taxes to Ur-et-Scatia.
All of the temples in Ur-et-Scatia are required to be built in the Sacred Quarter of the city, renown as the single most dangerous place in city. Clerics of the many different religious are often engaged in outright warfare with their neighbors of a different gods of the pantheons. From time to time, these violent outbursts are supported by the gods themselves, who might at any given time rain radiant murder on the faithful of a rival.
It is, at least, colorful and never dull.
Politics
At the time of the calamity, the outpost that is now Ur-et-Scatia was overseen by Eukedime, a soldier who had slept his way through the wives and courtesans at Gloriana until it was decided once and for all to “stuff the he-goat-of-a-man in the furthest shithole of the realm for all time.” It saved his life.
Ur-et-Scatia, being so far removed from any place of real interested in Gloriana did not take a single direct hit from a patalogical weapon. It did experience an unfortunate rain of very large worked stone, which briefly went upward and then rapidly downwards, when Pataphor’s tower exploded.
Being the only authority left standing, he took the title of Ur over all of Gloriana, promptly re-naming it Merdreterre, which seemed a more fitting name given the current circumstances. He then named his son Psidydite-Agane as heir to the throne and Ur apparent. Psidydite-Agane, upon the death of his father, ascended to the throne and promptly hunted down all of his step-brothers and sisters.
Having secured a royal linage, Ur Psidydite-Agane sired twin sons, Mergerd and Myrite, who now jointly rule the city — each taking one side of the River Black. Mergerd, the elder by a minute or two, is the agreed-upon ruler of Merdreterre. Myrite is the agreed-upon leader of armies of Merdreterre. Surprisingly, they get along, neither has tried to assassinate the other. They seem to be keeping the peace.
Suspicious of all of this, wizards from MIT and RPI are selling pool dates for the time they are referring to as “The Other Shoe Dropping.”
Continuously threatening to undo peace in Ur, there are multiple factions represented by race, class, and station. Most disruptive of these are the rising class of former adventurers who survived their trade and remain more less humanoid. These people tend to have one hell of a lot of money all of the sudden. They are spending it building walled neighborhoods called Sub-Urs to the east of the old city fortifications. The old noble families, naturally enough, hate them with a passion that burns with the heat of a thousand suns. The old families call these social climbers the Nuveau Gauche.
Finally, there is the grey market and unofficial government of the global thieves guild, The Amalgamated Substrates of Ur. No building rises, no dray rolls, no ship is unloaded without some money exchanging hand with the Substrates’ protection services — fees paid to protected the subscribers from the Substrates themselves.
Law
The peace across Merdreterre is maintained by the Militia. Every town and outpost has a Militia posting, and Ur Myrite is their Prince.
Within Ur-et-Scatia, the peace is maintained by the Black Guard. The Black Guard is generally responsible for guarding the Black River, which from time to time throws horrors and monstrosities at the city.
The wealthier Temples in the city usually have their own private constabulary, responsible for guarding the Temple and killing as many of the non-faithful as they can get away with before the Black Guard is forced to intervene.
The legal system of Ur-et-Scatia is based on a simple principle: if you can get away with it, then it was pre-ordained by the gods to be just. A legal system has been built on this foundation, where all high crimes and most torts are sorted out by combat to the death.
A good lawyer is always sought after, as it is a career with a high turnover rate.
The law firms — the armories and training grounds of each of the major law practices — are quartered adjacent to temple quarter, and not by accident. Most law firms align to the gods in one way or another. Law firm are clustered in the The Longe Arme of the Law , which is sorted by religious alignment. At one end there is a statue of a Platinum Dragon bearing the inscription, “Let Your Solace Be Found in the Strength of Our Justice.” At the other end is a statue of a frowning woman with a cigarette dangling from her mouth; in one outstretched hand she holds a statue of a man shouldering all of Ur on his back and in the other outstretched and water flows to a fountain at her feet where you will find the inscription, “Go Fuck Yourself.”
Trails are frequently attended by the public, where betting on justice is both frowned upon and common.
Travel to and from Merdreterre
Don’t.