The Estate of Baron Saturday is on the Island of Craptopia. Craptopia has experienced a devastating economic recession with the introduction of sea faring vessels. Now, shipping between Newur, Merdreterre, and Ithulvania no longer needs to stop at the port town of Sea Side. The people are starving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The people were starving. There are no people any longer, thus no more starving. The Baron has “saved” them with “the smallest possible change to make the greatest possible difference.<\/strong>“<\/p>\n\n\n\n That phrase is guiding idea behind Clinamen’s sorcery. Saturday, Celaena discovers, was one of Clinamen’s Generals<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Saturday has “saved” the people by removing their lives without them dying. How exactly he did this, is important<\/strong>. Was it ‘patalogical sorcery or something else?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Before we get to those details, there’s the matter of Arthur, the Night Butler. One thing about Arthur to note was his exquisitely maintained elaborate facial hair<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Another thing to note about the island is that something is causing random things to animate, and spending too long on the island is driving the living insane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A party of Goblins adorned with the symbol of the Duck <\/strong>have killed each other in a fight among themselves in the town of Sea Side.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now, as to what the Baron was up to, this is what you know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n First, the Gallery<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Second, the Office<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n In Sea Side, Brialle finds The Egg. While the party doesn’t know what they have or how to use it, Flex has been told to find The Egg.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Of the two people that Grimble has sent the Party to find, they only discovered one: The Burgoman of the Town. The Pastor of the Chapel to the Temple of Small Streams and Domesticated Animals was never found in the Estate or outside of it.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Atop the office, the Baron kept Clinamen’s Telescope. The Telescope was pointed at three celestial objects — planets in an alignment from large to small. The Baron’s journal reflects his alarm at this discovery<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Also, in the office, there is evidence that The Baron was traveling. There was a traveling cloak, a traveling hat, traveling boots, a traveling bag, and a flying carpet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Celaena will have a dream-within-a-dream where she sees The Baron making his way out of the caves leading into Antimony’s Still.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Also, and the party is joined by two others: Kahseer and Bruni. They are sent to the Estate with a mission of delivery whisky in return for payment and a signature on the receipt. The instructions are clear, payment and a signature on the receipt<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This never happens, because they never encounter the Baron at the Estate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n How to get into the office: I could think of a couple of ways of cheating your way into the office. Most of them were well above your level or extremely long odds. However, one was to gamble and win with Arthur. The other was the Lighting Imp, who had access to the office to in order to maintain the extra-planar lighting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n Game Two, Part 1<\/p>\n\n\n\n Our adventurers return to the dojo with a rescued Chicken, finding the battle over and the dojo safe..<\/p>\n\n\n\n They report the details of the fight, and Grimble leans in when he hears the goblins and devils were fighting each other. Grimble suspects there\u2019s rift between the Abyssal and the Infernal: each wanted the Chicken exclusively. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Grimble consults his loom, but whatever he sees there is inconclusive. <\/p>\n\n\n\n He decides he needs more information.<\/p>\n\n\n\n While Forf remains in the dojo to help restore the grounds and care for the animals, Tharla and Gregory are sent to Ur-et-Scatia with secret instructions. Brialle, Maeglin, and Calaena are given the task of finding out what Baron Saturday on the Isle of Craptopia knows. <\/p>\n\n\n\n To escort the party to Craptopia, Grimble sends for Danelia and Muffins Tuflel. Danelia, a gnome ranger from Grand Fenwick, is a Blightwalker \u2014 a society dedicated to gathering up dangerous artifacts pre-dating the war. Muffins is one of Grimble\u2019s lawyers from the firm of Platinum, Silver, Bronze, Copper, and Iron \u2014 Gimbles\u2019 representatives in matters of the Law.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Baron is unlikely to part with any information about recent events, so he instructs Brialle to seek out Ogg, a cleric of her order in the town of Sea Side on Craptopia, and Danelia is instructed to secure the cooperation of Ioland, the Burgoman of the village. Grimble also presents Maeglin and Calaena with letters that they are to give Baron Saturday, once they arrive at the estate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n During this time, some of the adventurers are visited by omens. Maeglin is surrounded by ravens, who mock him with the phrase, \u201cTake the steps, the steps to see!\u201d Brialle dreams of an old man who is confused and anxious, repeating the names of spells he cannot remember and cannot choose: lesser restoration, remove curse, greater restoration, remove evil. Tadriel visits Calaena in a dream, instructing her to seek out any clues the Baron might have to \u201cUbu\u2019s Pattern.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n They set off early in the morning from Grimble\u2019s Island, warned that nighttime on Craptopia can be\u2026 \u201cproblematic<\/em>.\u201d They should arrive early enough in the day to establish contact with Ogg and Iolanda, and then get to the Baron\u2019s Estate before sundown.<\/p>\n\n\n\n On the way over, however, Brialle notes storm clouds approaching, before she loses her balance and falls out of the boat. Calaena, reaches back and hauls her back on to the boat safely, but Brialle is correct to point out that there is a storm on the way. The journey to Craptopia is both harder and longer than expected. They arrive in late afternoon, and all are exhausted from the journey, save Muffins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n On the journey over, however, Brialle takes the time to get to know her companions better, though not too much better as they are for the most part tight lipped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the harbor, they see ships on varying styles and types, including a three-masted sailing ship from the pre-War era \u2014 the recognize it as a cargo ship traveling from the factories at Newur, with finished goods destined (probably) for Ur-et-Scatia. They see no sailers or crew on any of these boats. They see no lights or motion from the town. They see some sea birds, and that is all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tied at stone dock in the circular quay inside the breakwater, they guardedly make their way up the stone steps hewn into the cliff side. At the top, they enter the southwestern side of the town, which is an open market. It is empty. They investigate. There are no signs of struggle or battle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Brialle wanders into a small barn in the yard of one of the homes, where she finds a golden egg. Some of the party see a flash of color and motion behind the house, but can\u2019t make out who or what it is. Inspecting the egg, they see it is now silver. Muffins politely, but firmly, asks for the egg, declaring it \u201cA matter of the Law.\u201d Muffins takes the egg, which about the size of a chicken egg, and carefully places it in his pouch. Brialle is not entirely satisfied with this situation, as she like eggs \u2014 or more importantly, she likes the animals that come out of eggs that you find in mangers attached to houses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Proceeding north, the party sees, just at the edge of the town square, a goblin mounted on a hyena. He wears a duck on his head and carries a large flag or standard tied to his back (they can\u2019t quite make out the emblem, but they assume it is a duck.) He shouts out twice, once in Goblin and once in Undercommon, \u201cYou are welcome to what you find here.\u201d He then dashes off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nearing the down square, the party finds a detachment of goblins. They carry the symbol of the duck. And, they are all dead. They have clearly killed each other in some kind of fight among themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Proceeding to the town square, they find this too is empty, save a broom leaning against the fountain in the center of the square. <\/p>\n\n\n\n They investigate the buildings off the square, starting with the chapel. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The chapel is a simple building with a meeting hall and a room on the back, featuring a latter to a small bell tower on the roof. Entering the room in the back, Brialle recognizes this as the room from her dream with the distressed cleric. They assume this man to be Ogg, and they find the spells on is desk that he had been consulting: calm emotions, lesser restoration, remove curse, greater restoration, remove evil. They also find a chain shirt and a mace, presumably Ogg\u2019s \u2014 which Brialle barrows for the time being.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They stay in the chapel that night, taking the time to learn a little more about themselves. Danelia explains that she is a Blightwalker, and her job is to gather up dangerous artifacts from the War and see to it that they are disposed of properly \u2014 and especially that they don\u2019t fall into the wrong hands. She indicates that she has some sort of special container just for that purpose. Maeglin talks somewhat about poetry. Brialle talks a lot about everything. Muffins and Calaena mostly keep to themselves. It\u2019s generally agreed to that Grimble is a weird guy. Danelia \u2014 who is from the Duchy of Grand Fenwick \u2014 expresses the opinion that everything in the West has a funny name and is populated by strange people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nearby, a mournful cry disturbs Muffins during the first watch. Muffins warns Brialle and Danelia at their watch. Danelia takes to the tower, hearing the mournful cry \u2014 but now at some distance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The rest of the night passes without incident.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the morning, Danelia and Maeglin investigate the Inn. Danelia discovers food. Maeglin discovers a chest being held at the Inn, pending the arrival of someone named Bord-Flak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n (phrom Phineus Fingers, in the Dragon Magazine)<\/p>\n\n\n\n The chest contains bags of gems (itemized below).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Danelia disapproves of Maeglin\u2026 barrowing\u2026 these gems. Maeglin is immune to Danelia\u2019s disapproval.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the town hall, they find the Doomsday Book, with the census of nearly a thousand people \u2014 all vanished. They find Iolanda\u2019s journal, with a single entry noting that Iolanda has appealed to the Baron, who assures her that everything is as designed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This is the final entry. In the guards station, they find no sign of worry or concern: the arms are still under lock. The building is in order. The captain of the guard\u2019s armor and weapons are in his office. Danelia barrows the captain\u2019s weapon, suspecting there are spirits about \u2014 and knowing that arcane weapons are needed to do real harm on creatures that are both in the material and the ethereal at the same time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Exiting back into the square, they see the broom has moved. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Calaena investigate the broom with Mage Hand. The broom, disturbed, attacks and destroys the Mage Hand. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Muffins proceeds to attack the broom as a matter of the Law. This seems to annoy a number of other brooms, and they enter the square\u2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n ROLL INITIATIVE!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Muffins struggles with the brooms, and he is nearly beaten to death. Maeglin assists Celaena in fighting off two brooms, while Brialle calls down a bolt of radiant energy that leaves nothing but a few embers drifting in the dim light of the still morning. Danelia does well with her crossbow, but in close quarters loses her grip on her newly acquired short sword and watches it arch gracefully out of her hand and sail across the square; Misfortune visits Danelia, taking pity on her for her terrible luck all night, and resets time. Drawing the sword, once again, Danelia watches it fly from her fingers, and Misfortune tells her that she\u2019s pushing her luck with him, too. <\/p>\n\n\n\n As the fight with the brooms\u2026 rages\u2026 at least as violently as a fight can rage with animated brooms, a shadow peels away from a wall on the town square in the dim morning light, and attacks. The brooms prove to be dangerous, but the shadow is positively (or perhaps negatively) dangerous. Calaena, casting mage armor, manages to avoid the shadow\u2019s life-draining strike. Maeglin finishes it off, striping shadow from shadow until the head of the spirit is disincorporated and drifts off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The party, injured, exhausted, and somewhat embarrassed about nearly being killed by brooms, take a rest and heal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n Having defeated animated brooms and a shadow, the adventurers take a long rest before departing the village of Sea Side, which is utterly abandoned save the remains of a party of goblins \u2014 who appear to have killed each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They make their way north along a road that is more like a causeway than a highway. Elevated a few feet above the rocky terrain of the island, they note the craftsmanship of the road \u2014 it\u2019s levelness, the fitting of the stones, the evenness of road surface \u2014 which tells them that this road pre-dates the Aftermath and may even predate the Age of Sorcery. The terrain is barren, save tufts of sharp grasses that jut out of the rocky landscape. There are no pastures or farms. The emptiness of the island is disturbing, especially to Dani.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They do see a large stone cube wedged into the landscape, which is similar to the one that Maeglin saw back on Grimble\u2019s Isle. It is in far distance, yet clearly visible. It is very large, clearly worked into shape, and apparently flung to where it landed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As they approach the estate, they come to a barrier where the land transitions abruptly \u2014 which they\u2019ve seen happen once before when making their way up the Greater Useless Peninsula. Inside a 3km-wide circle extending around the estate, there is green grass. The sky, also transitions from overcast with blustery, cold winds blowing in from the sea to warm with a cool breeze. The sky is bright and clear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They are greeted at the Estate by the Day Butler, who calls himself Blank. Blank declares that they have been expected. As they enter the foyer, the door shuts behind them, and Brielle notices that Blank didn\u2019t shut it \u2014 it closed by itself. Brielle keeps this to herself until she has a change to take it with the party in private.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The house is opulent. Brilliantly lit by chandeliers and sconces, the rooms and halls brim with artifacts ancient and modern. Some you recognize, others are foreign and strange. There are portraits and landscapes set inside gilded frames, There are collection of weapons, armor, and shields, some of them so exotic that no-one recognizes them. Some of the armor have holes in vital places. There are carpets woven with brilliant and complex patterns. None of the party have ever seen this kind of wealth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Blank shows them to their meal in the dining room. Their meals are especially prepared for each of them. Maeglin, in particular, is presented with a bottle of liquor called \u201cNightmare Fuel.<\/em>\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Shortly after than, they meet the Night Butler, Arthur. He has wild, round, darting eyes framed under the brim of a stove pipe hat and a full mustache and beard \u2014 the mustache long, waxed and curled into a spiral and the beard is long, full and pointed at the navel. He wears a red velvet overcoat. Arthur has sewn bat wings into the shoulder of his overcoat. Weird.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Anyway, the adventurers explore the house.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Brielle visits the music room, playing a tune on a lute poorly enough to summon Arthur to ask her to please stop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the Library, Dani and Calaena struggle with the verbose and academic books they find there. Dani is seeking out books things Draconic, and finds a general history of how Dragons originated in the planes as the Chromatic dragons and where thereafter countered with dragons originating from material metals. She finds some mention of the creation of the Dragon Born as the draconic answer to creation. Danni also finds a book on Clinamen (or Clinemann or \u041a\u043b\u044b\u043d\u0430\u043c\u0435\u043d), which features the hand-written phrase, \u201cThe smallest possible change that makes the largest possible difference.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Calaena seeks a book on Ubu in the modern section, but doesn\u2019t find one. She turns her attention to the Shadowfell, finding a large tome on the subject. It\u2019s mindlessly verbose and difficult to understand. She struggles with if for sometime, gleaning the nature of the Shadowfell as a kind of reflection of the material. What happens in the material is reflected in the Shadowfell, interpreted in macabre manifestations of the material real. Access to the Shadowfell is typically found deep within the Underdark, in places where the barriers between the two planes are the weakest. She also discovers there are creatures who serve the Raven Queen who were once wizards, and serving these wizards are ravens that have the ability to cross between the planes unlike other creatures \u2014 where there are ravens serving the Raven Queen, there is likely one of these transformed Wizards nearby.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maeglin and Muffins try their hand at billiards, but refuse a wager on a game with Arthur who will trade them three honest answers to any questions in return for Maeglin\u2019s luck (what ever that might mean). After Brielle\u2019s augury spell is inconclusive, Maeglin refuses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Brielle explores the third floor, finding three doors that don\u2019t seem to open, and a number of smaller access doors in the hall. Convinced the house is haunted or cursed, Brielle insists the house is dangerous with undead. Dani reaches out to detect undead and is nearly overwhelmed with the spell\u2019s response: they are completely surrounded by a very large quantity of undead. Brielle confronts Arthur about Baron Saturday and a curse, and Arthur assures them all that there is no curse, the Baron is good at heart, and his only goal is to save the people of Sea Side.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They consult with Muffins, who has been in a guarded position, like any good lawyer would, in the Parlor. Muffins suggests the weapons and armor through out the place run deep with magic, but they can\u2019t find any particular pieces. Maeglin decides to gather up all of the weapons he can find to make a pile, to Dani\u2019s embarrassment. Arthur asks Maeglin to please stop doing that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maeglin steals the Metallic Egg from Muffins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They retire to bed, where most of the part enjoys the wonders of in-door plumbing and where Brielle dreams of Ogg.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the morning, Calaena, Muffins, and Maeglin discover when they awaken that Brielle is a stunned condition and Dani is petrified. In Brielle\u2019s room, the mirror shows a message in Brielle\u2019s hand writing, \u201cUse the dog, you silly gurll.\u201d There is soap in Brielle\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In Dani\u2019s room, they investigate her condition to see if there is any pattern or consistency to explain the two of them. Maeglin uses the dog to smash the mirror. This summons Blank to the room, who asks Maeglin to please stop doing that. Blank mends the mirror. Maeglin attempts to threaten Blank. Blank simply disappears to the floor below, muttering racist remarks about Half-Elves. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Calaena passes Blank on her way to the dinning room, where the table is set for three (not five), so she can stuff her pockets with food.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Around this time, Brielle awakens, and wondering why her hand is soapy, learns of the message she has apparently written to herself, and summons her dog by cast the Onyx Figurine on the ground. A Great Pyrenees rises up from the statue. Brelle casts \u201cspeak with animals,\u201d and the dog tells her that \u201cthere are two spirits in one body,\u201d and asks her \u201cwhy did the mopey guy throw me into the mirror?\u201d Brielle is further convinced that the house is cursed and that she is also possessed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The dog proceeds to the first floor, leading Brielle to a room with \u201cNo admittance\u201d written on the door in many languages. Maeglin enters to find there is an interior security gate that is locked. Behind it, in the room, brass cages hanging above glowing glyphs etched into the floor. In the cages, Imps operate the household systems. One Imp heats the water, another operates the pumps for the plumbing, etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The dogs sits next to the Lighting Imp, who offers Brielle a deal. Lighting is an entry level position, and he wants a fast promotion to plumbing. If they will \u201ccreate an advancement opportunity\u201d for him by removing the Plumbing Imp from his cage, in any way they see fit, then in exchange to taking the Plumbing Imp\u2019s place, the Lightening Imp will give them something they want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Lighting Imp explains that he has information, since he runs the lights to all the rooms, he hears everything that goes on in the house. He offers as proof of this that the last visitor to the house was Iolanda from Sea Side. She was expressing concern over the Baron\u2019s plan to save the town, but the Baron reassured her that all was exactly as it should be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maeglin opens the Imp\u2019s cage, but the Imp can\u2019t yet leave, pointing to the glyph below. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Before anything else happens, a Bearded Imp named Weakchin appears, shouting \u201cWhat\u2019s all this, then!?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n And that is where we left off, until next time when we will begin with the phrase\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026 ROLL INITIATIVE!<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n No one knows for certain when the \u2018Pataphysical Sorcerers blew Ur into bits. <\/p>\n\n\n\n What do know is eighty-five years ago, enough order had been restored to agree on when to start counting down The Aftermath. The Wizards agreed on setting the year at -500. They figuring it would take that long to put enough of the world back together to say things were \u201cmoving forward again.\u201d Most people regarded this as wildly optimistic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Aftermath, being a time focused on the basics of survival, is generally unpleasant. Things smell bad. Things taste bland. Things feels rough. And, all of these lousy things are sparse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, so, amid this background of misery, a sector of the economy emerged, which can be described as \u201cdoing incredibly dangerous and reckless things to recover pre-Aftermath goods from the places where they had been hoarded.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n These hoards were the centers of power, economy, knowledge, and civilization during the reign of the Sorcerers. Thus, they were the primary targets of the most powerful \u2018patalogical weapons used in the war that ended civilization. What remains are ruins surrounded by highly \u2018patalogical fields of thaumaturgical radiation. If you want to suddenly grow a third arm or find yourself walking on another plane of existence, these ruins are just the place you\u2019ve been looking for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Worse, the only things that can survive \u2014 even thrive \u2014 in these fallout zones are monstrosities, aberrations, demons, devils, and unnamable beings generally referred to as \u201cAHHHHHH!!!\u201d or \u201cOHGODSOHGODSOHGODSOHGODS!!!\u201d by the people fleeing them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Since removing objects from these ruins is a high-risk occupation, the pay is good for the survivors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Of course, there is nothing to spend these wages on, other than maybe a life-time supply of turnips. Most of these suddenly wealthy adventurers walk across the street to the store selling the objects they only recently purloined from the ruins of civilization. And, so, these brave \u2014 read, stupid \u2014 raiders would immediately exchange their bags of gold for the goods they had only recently held in their possession \u2014 at a tremendous mark up. If you are dumb enough to walk willing into a field of highly \u2018patalogical background thaumaturgy, you are stupid enough to be swindled by the people who paid you to do it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eventually, however, it dawned on these brave \u2014 read, stupid \u2014 raiders, \u201coy, now, wait-a-minute-then. This \u2018ere is \u2018A Bad Deal<\/strong>,\u2019 inninit?\u201d Indeed, it was \u2018A Bad Deal<\/strong>.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, so they did what all laborers do when they are stuck with \u201cA Bad Deal<\/strong>.\u201d They unionized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What emerged was the Amalgamated Substrates of Ur<\/a><\/em>, a thieves\u2019 guild. They organized crime. They developed a secret language for conducting their criminal enterprises, called Thieves Cant. They united the catacombs, tunnels, and portals underlying most of Ur. The Wizards, the Kings, and the Bankers might own the surface, but ASU owns the access to and from The Underdark<\/a><\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Thus, having formed an organization to offset \u201cA Bad Deal<\/strong>,\u201d the Amalgamated Substrates of Ur set out to secure what all unions seek. They made sure they had \u201cA Piece of the Action<\/strong>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n All goods coming in and out of raids on the former centers of civilization need to be either conducted by the Amalgamated Substrates of Ur or pay an \u201cindependent operators fee,\u201d to the organization. Failing to do this is cause for voiding life insurances policies by the few remaining Actuarials on Ur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Which brings us to how exactly the worst tavern in Ur-et-Scatia \u2014 a city renown for exceptionally bad hospitality \u2014 came in possession of several kegs of the most desirable whisky ever recovered from the once great nation of Gloriana (now called Merdeterre). The proprietor of The Vulgar Prawn, one existentially dubious fellow name Skirfy, was entrusted by the Amalgamated Substrates of Ur with the task of [a] delivering three casks of Dwarven whisky (twenty-four year old Feicfidh t\u00fa D\u00e9ithe) to Baron Saturday, [b] collecting the vast treasure these casks fetch on the grey market, and [c] then remit said treasure to a duly-appointed representatives of the ASU. Most of all, Skify was to collect the Baron\u2019s signature on the receipt.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n A wiser man, a man with a more acute sense of self-preservation, would have seen to this task himself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n He did not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Skirfy untrusted it to his Third-Best Barmaid and his Dishwasher. He did stop to think: \u201chow reliable, really, is the Third-Best Barmaid and the Dishwater at worst tavern in a city of appallingly bad taverns?\u201d Skirfy is not a thinking-man\u2019s man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n Roll initiative!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Weakchin materialized in the utilities room at the Baron\u2019s estate to see what the trouble was. He saw Unauthorized Personnel in a conversation with the Lighting Imp. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Meaglin, Brialle, and Brialle\u2019s onyx dog looked across the room to see a Bearded Demon appear. Towering over six feet tall, muscular, red-skinned, and featuring long, barbed tendrils writing beneath his chin, Weakchin carried a menacing looking glaive. <\/p>\n\n\n\n A couple of things happened nearly at once. Brialle felt a compulsion to run out of the room, but easily pushed it aside. Meaglin swashed a serious injury on Weakchin with a sneak attack, and then Meaglin buckled when Weakchin struck with with both the glaive and his barbed beard. A Firbolg rushed into the Utilities Room from the Kitchen to see what the matter was, and she was quickly followed by a formidable human women dressed in a barmaid\u2019s skirts. What the heck?<\/p>\n\n\n\n With all of this confusion and Maeglin on death\u2019s door \u2014 and Death very much interested in renewing a conversation he had started with Maeglin \u2014 the situation could have been very bad indeed, until Brialle channeled the divinity of the Goddess of Small Streams and Domesticated Animals into Weakchin, rendering him Held, unmovable and cognizant of him impending demotion. Weakchin was quickly dispatched.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dani, who began this encounter paralyzed under mysterious circumstances, rushed to her room to suit up for the fight, returning in time to see it was over. And, for his part, Muffins proved about as useless as he has been from the outset. Muffins\u2019 confidence is so shaken by the fact that a barmaid is the more formidable of the two that he is now considering a future as a turnip farmer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The party seeking answers to understand any of the many mysteries of The Great Chicken now had two new allies. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Maeglin rushed forward to made a sneak attack on Weakchin, injuring the devil. Weakchin, in return, nearly killed Maeglin with attacks from his glaive and the barbed spines on the tentacles writhing beneath the devil\u2019s chin. Maeglin retreated, bleeding and in mortal danger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, the fight was going badly, even with two new allies. Dani, still paralyzed was out of the fight. Muffins, to his growing frustration, was as useless. Maeglin would likely bleed to death before the end of the fight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then, Brialle and the Goddess of Small Streams and Domesticated Animals, cast Hold on Weakchin. Frozen in place, Weakchin could do nothing but await his imminent demotion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As the fight swayed against him, the Imps who would have been his allies, suddenly found themselves rooting for the party. With a \u201cmanagement change\u201d in place, the party was able to complete the transfer of the Lighting Imp into the job of the Plumbing Imp.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Keeping his word, as a lawful but evil creature, the Imp answered two of the three questions he owns the party.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The most pressing question being: Where is the Baron?<\/p>\n\n\n\n The answered truthfully that he was last aware of the Baron in his office. He explained that the Baron was there, then the Baron was not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The party moved down the hall to the office on the first floor, searching it for clues. They found paper work regarding the Estate operations, orders and purchases \u2014 including a deliveries for a lot of art supplies. The party realized that this was the office of the Day and Night Butlers \u2014 Arthur and Blank.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Brialle rushed up to the third floor, confident that the Baron\u2019s office would be behind one of the locked doors off the landing. The rest of the party, terrified over what Brialle might do when she got there, quickly followed after.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Concerned that the place was riddled with dangers, Cessair cast detect traps, sensing danger but strangely unable to determine the specific nature \u2014 magical or mechanical, deadly or dangerous. <\/p>\n\n\n\n They explored the attic passages, and discovered the answer to Cessair\u2019s riddle. She had been surrounded by traps of numerous types and dangers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, in one attic room, they found the well preserved body of Yolanda, the Burgoman of the village. They stirred her spirit, which was angry and vengeful. It attacked, and had to fight for their lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Meanwhile, in one of the attics, Brialle discovered a squirrel, which she improbably befriended.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maeglin explored the various trapped chests and items in the attics, and decided not to tangle with them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The party then explored the door to the right of the landing. This proved to be Arthur\u2019s room, evidenced by his jacket and top hat hanging from a coat rack.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Unsure what to do about the door in the center of the hall, they proceeded to the double doors to the left of the landing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They tired several tricks to find their way into this locked room, including Brun attempting to punch her way through the door and the wall next to it. Dani used her portable hole\u2019s pocket dimensionality to put the lock into another reality, allowing the door to swing open on the hinges.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Inside the room, they found a kind of museum gallery of art work. There were suits of armor, weapons, artifacts, and a large tomb on a stand in the center of the room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Most notably, they found six paintings hanging on the walls, and one in progress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After exploring the curious paintings, the party turned their attention to the large book. Written in a language they could not quite comprehend, it appeared to be very similar to Celestial. When they disturbed the book, they set off the Security System. Two sets of armor and a sword came to life. The party fled the room throwing the doors shut behind them. Retreating down the hallway, they wonder, \u201ccan the suits of armor open the door?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The doors begin to open\u2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We have a lot to learn about Cessair and Brun. There\u2019s a door you have to find a way to open. Dani has detected one hell of a lot of undead\u2026 well\u2026 everywhere. And, there\u2019s an invoice and payment due to Skirfy. But, first, there\u2019s a problem with a certain set of animated objects you have to see to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n \u201cIntroducing species into an ecosystem to control pests has long been understood to be a very bad idea. Like all bad ideas, it is one that is frequently repeated with little learning following each failure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Demons are always conniving. They are seldom smart. And, so, they introduced a new species to deal with statement in the war with the Celestials: Dragons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Specifically, the demons opened portals to the planes where the Chromatic Dragons originate. They intended to tip the balance of the war toward the Infernal-Abyssal Axis. More particularly, they intended to tip the balance toward the Abyssal side of that axis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dragons, as it turns out, are both conniving and smart. The Dragons tipped the balance in favor of the Dragons. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Introduced to The Material, Chromatic Dragons took to materialism with avaricious gusto. They began to accumulate material wealth and pile that wealth up in hoards. Currency is only utile when exchanged, and the Chromatic Dragons neither wanted nor needed to purchase anything. When they wanted a lair, they took it. When they wanted a meal, they ate it. When they required services, they terrorized others into obedience. The value of coin to a dragon is to have it, and more importantly, to deny you from having it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And so it is the same arts, finely crafted goods, and arcane artifacts: useless to dragons outside of the pleasure they derive from knowing that they have it and you don\u2019t. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And, so, the dragons reigned for millennia, never quite ruling the humanoids as much as terrorizing them continuously and slaughtering them savagely. Resistance was continuous. The dwarves refused to give up all of their wealth to the Dragon hoards without a fight \u2014 or many, many fights over a long period of time, which saw hoards transferring from dwarf to dragon and then from dragon to dwarf again. The Halflings simply gave up on material wealth, leaving the dragons with nothing to crave. The gnomes mostly went underground, to places where the dragons had to work too hard to root out. The humans fought the dragons furiously and with abandon, mostly because they weren\u2019t going to be denied anything, if if what they Dragons hoarded was something they didn\u2019t really want or need. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Despite the resistance, the Chromatic Dragons had the upper hand. The Celestial humanoid creations were dropping like autumn leaves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Celestials responded as Celestials do with their one unique tool in the enteral war: creation. Drawing from the materials of the Material, there came to be the Metallic Dragons. It was their job to unseat the Chromatic Dragons once and for all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Indeed, the Metallic Dragons stopped the proliferation of the Chromatic Dragons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Celestial humanoids began to recover, and the Infernal-Abyssal humanoids began to diminish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eventually, it started to balance out in a ruthless and bloody equilibrium of cruel slaughter to reproduction rates.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Stalemate again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Metallic Dragons did not do all of this in service to the Celestials, instead doing in an effort to assert the sage and noble rule of the Metallic Dragons over the lesser beings of Ur \u2014 who in their opinion were in desperate need of benevolent tyranny. Worse still for the Celestials, they had erred in the creation of the Metallic Dragons, creating a dragon deity to control them, Bahamut. Only, Bahamut was an annoyingly impossible to manipulate and control as the Metallic Dragons who worshipped him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, so, the Celestials embarked on repeating the mistake, again, creating a specific humanoid of Celestial origin: the Assimar. The Assimar would finally be soldiers in the war with Infernal-Abyssal alliance to \u201cBLOODY WELL DO WHAT THEY WERE BLOODY WELL TOLD!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Of course, the Infernal responded with the Teiflings. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The Fey responded with the Elves. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The Dragons responded with the Dragon Born. <\/p>\n\n\n\n For their part, the Abyssal responded by raising as many of the slain of all the others as Undead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Stalemate, again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The mistake, repeated, however, produced dragons without any fealty, obedience, or particular regard for the Celestials. Worse, to create the Metallic Dragons, the Celestials first created a god of the dragons, Bahamut. Loyalty to Bahamut in particular is not the same as loyalty to Celestials in general, as the Celestials game to learn. Metallic Dragons could not be ordered about, and as smart as they were, the annoying creatures were bloody hard to reason with \u2014 and by that, of course, we mean \u201cfool.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Stalemate, again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Theologically speaking, the Abyssals, the Infernals, and the Celestials had made a cosmic pig\u2019s ear out of the whole thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, it was this way, until the Humans began to innovate with the arcane, until they were capable to tapping into meta-magic: raw \u2018patalogical energy. The Dragons had magic, but the humans had sorcery. <\/p>\n\n\n\n With sorcery, the stalemate shifted. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The balance tipped away from the Celestials, Abyssals, Infernals, and Dragons toward the Sorcerers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And this is how we come to live in the great age of Sorcery, the eternal victory of the Material over the forces that created it and would have it ruled. Long may we reign supreme.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This history, and all the follows is what we know of the introduction, reign, and fall of the Chromatic and Dragons on Ur.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Celaena continues to read in the Baron\u2019s Library as Bruhilda watches over doorway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n ****<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thin tendrils of smoke rose from the fireplace in the Library, where Celaena watched the letter burn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But, we\u2019re getting ahead of ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We should start at the beginning, which is really in the middle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Rushing from the Gallery, the party shut the doors and removed the Portable Hole from its place over the lock and latch. Brunhilde asked aloud, \u201cI wonder if those things can open a door.\u201d She was answered by the doors starting to open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Quickly, the party prepared for a fight. They took up their positions in the hall, Maeglin fading back to a shadowy doorway and Brunhilde stomping up to the front. Brielle Blessed Maeglin, Brun, and Dani. Caleana positioned herself to the end of the hall near the stairs and cast Mage Armor. And, then\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n ROLL INITIATIVE!<\/p>\n\n\n\n The doors opened with two animated suits of armor lurching forward, long swords in hand. A hollow voice rang from inside the helms repeating, \u201cYou touched the book.\u201d Behind the armor, a sword floated from the wall, crooning \u201c\u2018Cause it\u2019s witchcraft, wicked witchcraft, and although, I know, it\u2019s strictly TABOO<\/em>\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Blows were exchanged, and improbably, Muffins actually did some real damage \u2014 his luck would soon return. Bruhilde and Maeglin, in particular, did serious damage to the armor with arrows and a beer stein. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The big surprise to all in the part was the sudden appearance of Dire Wolf filling the hallway. It leaped over the party and past the armor. It savaged the enchanted objects from a flanking position. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The party tore the armor to pieces, separating the arcane enchantments from the physical components of the spell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But, then they turned their attention to the dancing sword, which was now singing, \u201c\u2026 a guardian angel on high, with nothing to do but give to you\u2026\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n The struck it with a beer stein, they prodded it with a rapier, but it seemed to take no damage. To Maeglin\u2019s surprise, he was unable to evade the sword without drawing an attack of opportunity (weird!). Seemingly imperious and unsure how to damage it, Brunhilde shouted, \u201cis there any way to trap it!?\u201d Dani, realizing she had the Portable Hole, stubbled forward and (not very gracefully) lunged at the sword. The sword, still focused on Maeglin, was completely unaware of the threat. The party trapped it in the Portable Hole.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Focused on the room, the party failed to notice the two additional suits of armor clamoring up the stairs from the first floor. Celaena retreated to Arthur\u2019s room and slammed the door shut. Brialle and her dog retreated to the attic that Maeglin hid within when the fight started. Cessair, Brunhilde, Dani, Muffins, and Maeglin savagely dispatched the other two armor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Battered and exhausted, the party locked themselves into the gallery for a long rest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When they awoke, several of the party found themselves somehow afflicted. Maeglin was suffering ticks and twitches, Muffins could not remember anything other than who he was, and Celaena could not speak. In time each of these afflictions passed, but not not before causing a great deal of concern and complication.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The party re-examined the Gallery and the paintings. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Cessair used \u201cDetect Magic\u201d to discover the paintings were faintly magic, the book was very magic, and there were other magics in the house that seems to be brimming with magics. <\/p>\n\n\n\n With a javelin embedded in the painting of the man in green, they discovered that while the frames were affixed to the wall, the canvasses could be removed. Before cutting them out, they carefully examined the paining that was all black, discovering the brush strokes suggested a sixth man. Beyond that, it was had to distinguish much about the nature or posture of this man. They carefully placed the paintings in the center of the room\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026 Where Brialle set them alight with a spell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Several things happened as a result: <\/p>\n\n\n\n First, Dani shrieked, as important \u2018patalogical artifacts were destroyed before they could be examined by the proper authorities;<\/p>\n\n\n\n Second, Celaena *did not* shriek, as she was still struck mute, but wanted to because the book which she had been studying was now just a set of blank pages; <\/p>\n\n\n\n Third, Brialle thought it a job well done and merrily proceeded to ask if the big doggie was going to come back any time soon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The party discussed what to do next, deciding to finish their mission(s) at the Baron\u2019s Estate. They consulted the Plumbing Imp one last time to find out where the Baron was, but the Imp answered truthfully that he didn\u2019t know. Suspecting there was information behind the door at the top of the stairs, they attempted entry. They were frustrated in their attempts to find someway to open the door\u2026 or make their own door from the attic room. Some conversation was focused on climbing out the window to see if there was a way to climb in to the windows of tower from the outside. Finally, they decided to explore the attic rooms for clues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maeglin successfully \u2014 against all probability \u2014 disarmed the mechanical traps and locks, although there were some close calls. He discovered\u2026 well, he discovered some stuff, which some in the party might know about and others might not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Meanwhile, in the Library, Calaena read a book on the History of Dragons on Ur and examined the letter that she was given by Grimble.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Almost forgotten, Celeana was to present this letter from Grimble to Baron Saturday on her arrival to the Estate. (Brunhilde: \u201cWTF is a Grimble?\u201d). There was a seal on the letter bearing a sigil, and Calaena believed it to be protection from what she was actually able to do: read the letter. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Celaena and Brunhilde returned to the third floor to report to the other on what the letter said: \u201cThese ones are dangerous. Imprison them. More later.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Maeglin, reminded he also had a letter, opened it and read out the contents \u2014 \u201cKill this one, while you can. Grimble. PS Our differences aside.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n A sense of foreboding overcame the party.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They discussed leaving. Brunhilde reminded the party that she needed payment and a signature, or there would be trouble. Dani reminded the party the house itself was practically a \u2018patalogical super-fund site, and further work needed to discover its secrets and dangers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, so, they decided to investigate the last of the attic rooms. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Here, they disarmed a magical trap (poison gas) with Mage Hand. They discovered the statue was a sarcophagus. Inside, they found the well-preserved remains of Blank, the Day Butler.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Summoning Blank, Maeglin reached out and put his arm right through Blank, who was not there. Brunhilde asked Blank if he was dead, and Blank said that he was not dead, nor was he living. He had been changed: \u201cthe smallest possible change that makes the greatest possible difference.\u201d Blank described the Baron as a good man, who had saved him. He went on to say that he had similarly saved the towns people of Sea Side. Asked where they were, Blank said they were nearby \u2014 as near as they were allowed or able to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n Bone devil \u2014 no problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Horrific aberrations from the Underdark \u2014 handled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But that damnedable door \u2014 it just won\u2019t open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n On the desk there is a journal, and in that journal there is an entry:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHaha, 7, -417<\/p>\n\n\n\n We have been mediating on the nature of pain and the problem of the alleviation of it. We start with the simple premise that life is suffering. It follows then that non-life is non-suffering. It does not follow that death is non-life. Death is death, a state that is not life but that is not not life. Nor, therefore is undeath non-life, as undeath is non-death. There is a being that is being without living that this non-life. This state is, therefore, being without suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It is the quest for being without suffering that compels Us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As Clineman taught Us, it is the simplest possible change to produce the greatest possible difference ought We seek in answer to that quest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, so we begin with Blank, who seeks a life without suffering.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAs, 13, -415<\/p>\n\n\n\n Yolanda appeals to Us again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Again, it is the smallest possible change to create the greatest possible difference that she does not see: it is the great sailing ships of Merdreterre recovered and making the voyages between Newur and the Fractured Continent. The limited capacity of long ships forced them to Sea Side for resupply. There they traded in goods for hospitality. The great sailing ships have no such limitation. The town starves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They seek subsidies. Subsides are but a temporary and ineffectual remedy to what is the permanent condition of existence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They require relief from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What could be done on occasion, with great energy, and only with the willing and aware, may be popularly achievable as the revelations of Our study into the ontological mysteries of Ubu and his pattern reveal to Us truths once obscured in Our igorance. These answers are one and the same, and knowing this the punch line to the joke that illuminates the void. While the pattern eludes Us as it does the others racing for the answer, the means to knowing the pattern are the means to ending suffering. I am certain of it now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I will begin as all great things must begin \u2014 with small changes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSable. 3, -415<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ogg has been by to pester Blank for Our audience. He has noticed the little shifts and is concerned. Blank reports that he suspects the \u2018patalogical radiation is the cause, and deduces from this error that the protections We bestow on the Island are faltering. Of course, this is nonsense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We cannot, however, explain all of the observations We are making in the behavior of the townspeople. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It is a curiosity, but one that will have to wait.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The unwilling are being saved from suffering, and this work must continue to iompletion before turning to incidental in inconsequential matters.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTatane, 27, -415<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYolanda and Ogg, again. Our patience is expired. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Perhaps due to a lack of preparation, but more likely due to the complexity of the undertaking, there have been unexpected and disappointing results from small changes We am undertaking to author. <\/p>\n\n\n\n We have concluded in Yolanda\u2019s case, it was an amulet We would have accounted for had We granted them an audience. It was, clearly, a Death Ward, which worked to complicate the completion of the removal of life without the imposition of death on the subject. The spirit that remains is, I suppose, the word would be, \u201cvengeful.\u201d It is of no consequence. We have had Arthur stuff both parts in the attic. We will see to them later. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Similarly, Ogg was in some way warded, but mistaking the redoing of the done with a spell, he \u2014We believe \u2014 attempted to counter it with arcana. Truly, who would have thought the old man so formidable? Perhaps We should have invested more time getting to know him, but We find the worshipers of Brigantia to be tedious, muddy, and foul smelling on a good day. It is too bad, however, as come to think of it, as he might have been an ideal candidate to root that squirrel out of the attic. Perhaps when We find him, Ogg, that is, I have him deal with it, the squirrel, that is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Oh, and, on that subject, Arthur has not located the banshee, yet. The damnable thing will simply not shut up.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Phalle, 15, -415<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe are irritated. Grimble has resurfaced, after all this time. We observed the damn fool summoning meteors down on his own little piece of what is left of Pataphoria. We wonder if he ins\u2019t trying to finish the job of obliterating the place from Ur once and for all.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Phalle, 18, -415<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe are amused. Goblins have landed on the island. Yolanda was quite correct to point out that there have been unintended side effects. This would be amusing if there were time to enjoy it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n However, We are increasingly certain that there is some matter afoot. Grimble is not to be ignored. Even We must take note. This takes Us from Our research, when We are \u2014 We feel certain \u2014 so close to finding all that there is that balances.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We will spend another day in observations. <\/p>\n\n\n\n We have made the decision to remain in my office until I have sorted out the meaning of this danger.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Phalle, 19, -415<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI am worried. This can\u2019t be right.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Fale, 28, Minus Four Hundred Fifteen<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe are a right stupid git who lykes to smell Our Own Farte and be contented in the aroma thereof! What\u2019s this! What\u2019s this!? We are in Trouble Deepe. Foes smarter and handsomer than We do Our royal person Wenap! Oh! Oh no! ARRRRRRAGH!!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Fin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n 26 Phalle -415<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sir instructed him that Sir was expecting visitors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Blank was not expecting these visitors to be a company of curious ruffians.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dirty, disheveled, bedraggled, and bad mannered, these \u201chouse guests\u201d included, among other things, two half-elves. Both had the gall to use the front entrance. <\/p>\n\n\n\n After all that he had endured in life, Blank was most grateful in his current state that he could no longer smell. <\/p>\n\n\n\n These vermin were a pestilence of chaos. There was food hoarding. They ransacked the office. They gathered objects d\u2019art from the wall into a large pile. They murdered Weakchin, mucked about with the house imps, and afterwards the hot water was at best tepid and the lights were petulantly dim. They looted the attics, raided the gallery, burned Sir\u2019s art in a pile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They had, as yet, failed to enter Sir\u2019s office, but it was not for a lack of trying. They banged on the door, the frame, and the walls. They waved things in front of it. They bickered, plotted, and schemed. All of this to no avail. They had even taken to\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026 to \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026 to *miming*. The dimwits gathered in the abused gallery posturing themselves in odd stances with strange gestures. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It was all so very bizarre. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This was third night on the island. One way or the other, he wouldn\u2019t be putting up with them much longer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n 15 Phalle<\/p>\n\n\n\n Goblins attempted to steal a chicken. It didn\u2019t go well for the Goblins. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Devils tried to steal the Chicken from the Goblins. It didn\u2019t go well for the Devils, either. <\/p>\n\n\n\n What either wanted with a chicken, and why they were vying with each other for this chicken, well, that was a question that deserved an answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Only, Grimble didn\u2019t have one. Or, more to the point, he had many. It was vexing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n He needed more information. And, so, his thoughts turned to the Baron, with his studies, observations, and experiments. The Baron would know something he, Grimble, didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He resolved to send a party to Baron Saturday with instructions, finding an opportunity to solve a number of problems at one time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Brielle would be the key to enlisting Old Ogg. Someone else would need to enlist Yolanda: he would have to enlist the Blightwalkers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And, each of them would need projection. For that, he would need a lawyer from Platinum, Silver, Copper, Bronze, and Iron, Esq(s).<\/p>\n\n\n\n As for the other two, perhaps the Baron would have the means to do what he could not. Without divination to guide him, he was going to do what everyone else had to do in occasions like this. He was going to have to make a guess and hope for the best.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n 14 Phalle to 23 Phalle<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Baron watched the sky open over The Many Miserable Islands. Through the portal, meteors streamed from the heavens directly on to Grimble\u2019s Island. It was all a bother, as he was making arrangements with the Amalgamated Substrates of Ur for several casks of Clinamen\u2019s reserve whisky, recently recovered from Abandon City. The Many Miserable Isles were directly between the Whisky and his Estate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He would not put off the delivery, but he would see if it were to have the Whisky delivered directly from Ur-et-Scatia, or whether it was better to have the shipment sent inland to the western coast and have it shipped across the Sea of Bad Decision Making.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He passed instructions to Blank to have Arthur arrange for the delivery of the whisky, shut and sealed the door, and took himself up the stairs to see. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Moments later he returned to the desk. He was shaken, but comforted that he would remain safe as long as he remained in his office. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It could not be true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n 27 Phalle -415<\/p>\n\n\n\n All of this is to explain how two different parties set out for Craptopia. The first from Grimble\u2019s Dojo in the Many Miserable Isles, with two letters and special instructions to find Yolanda and Ogg, to get their assistance convincing the Baron to cooperate. The second followed a little later from kitchen of the \u201cVulgar Prawn\u201d in Ur-et-Scatia, with three casks of whisky and special instructions to get a very large sum of money and the Baron\u2019s signature on an invoice. Culminating, eventually, into a vexing, frustrating, and enduring battle with a ridiculously stubborn door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n 27 Phalle -415<\/p>\n\n\n\n So far, the door had the upper hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Not nagical, mechanical, nor theatrical trick yielded an answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The party needed to make a decision: leave the island without answers \u2014 and without payment and a signature for the whisky \u2014 or continue on to finding someway to get through that damnable door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maeglin E\u00f6lsson made A BIG DECISION. <\/p>\n\n\n\n He had not revealed the token or its properties to the party, but now it was time to employ it. Nothing else had worked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He explained that he had a plan to try to get into the office using a planar shift. Suspicious, and rightly so, of Unauthorized Patalogical Artifacts, Danelia Gentilbries stayed behind (with Muffins, who was, if it must be said, sulking).<\/p>\n\n\n\n With a flash of blue-black energy, Maeglin, Celaena Marin, Brunhilde Schlappinger, Cessair, and Brialle found themselves in a macabre setting. It was the Estate, and not it was not the Estate at the same time. That is, it seemed they were in the same hallway, only where there had been wainscoting there were long, dry bones affixed to the walls. Where there had been ancient weapons, armor, and paintings on the wall, now there were torture implements and skulls. The floor was bare, and in patches, the rotten wood showed gaps to the floor below.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maeglin said, \u201cWelcome to the Shadowfell.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, one of the first things that greeted the party was a raven. Most of the people in the party heard a raven cawing, but Maeglin heard it say, \u201cYou\u2019re an idiot.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n There was a brief discussion about ravens, conversations with said ravens, and Maeglin\u2019s overall irritation with fucking ravens, in general.<\/p>\n\n\n\n With that, they set about exploring the eerie place. The Gallery seemed much the same, only where there had been armor, now there were scarecrows. There were paintings, too, but the occupants were skeletal. There was no book, however. That was conspicuously absent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Two other notable differences: the first was that the door to the office was decorated with what seemed to be a human form, carved in wood, as if a person were embedded in the door. A left leg, a left arm, some the shoulder, and the left side of a head were visible \u2014 as if a body had been embedded in timbers that had been assembled into the door. In the ear of the man, there was a key hole. The other notable difference was a shining, silver key hanging from Maeglin\u2019s neck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They used the key to enter the office. Like the rest of the house, the office was dimly lit, faintly illuminating a desiccated, grey interior. There were worm-eaten books, with brittle pages falling from loose bindings. There were tall candle stands made of bone, covered in the melted black wax of the black candles they held. There was a scarred and gnarled desk, with taloned feet standing on the bare wooden floor,<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, on that desk there was a strangely colorful man greeting them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He wore yellow shoes, blue velvet trousers, a paisley shirt, and turquoise waistcoat. His haircut was especially bad. He held a black watch in his hand, with a black watch face. Celaena and Maeglin recognized him immediately as someone who introduced himself merely as \u201cVeggie.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Veggie, in addition to being surprisingly colorful in a place without color, was also surprisingly cheerful in a place without cheer. He chitchatted for a second about nothing in particular, before asking, \u201cDid you find the egg?\u201d Then, he remarked at their courage to coming to a place as astonishingly dangerous as the Shadowfell, which was filled with all sorts of horrible things, like creature coming up behind them on the staircase.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n 27 Phalle -415<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dani, remaining on the Material, continued her efforts to get into the office. <\/p>\n\n\n\n She had a general outline of a two prong approach [1] a Plumbing Imp and [2] a Singing Sword.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the first thrust of the plan, she and Muffins made their way down to the Utility Room to have a word with the Plumbing nee Lighting Imp. Unaware that the others in the party had already asked the Plumbing nee Lighting Imp the third question owned in the deal to get a promotion, they were disappointed with the Imps refusal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This ties in, somewhat with the second main thrust of Dani\u2019s strategy: sharing the gift of the Sing Sword with others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dani released the Singing Sword from the Portable Hole.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It immediately attacked, but rather than fighting it, Dani made a grab for it. Although this was a winning strategy for dealing with the Singing Sword, it was surprisingly hard to get a hold of. It darted and attacked with slashing swipes. After a couple of strikes, it fell to the floor with a clatter. It lay there for a second, but before she could retrieve it, the sword rose into the air and soared back into the Gallery. Once there, it took its place on the wall. Immediately thereafter, the sword rocketed out of the Gallery and resumed its mindless, indefatigable, and melodic attacks. <\/p>\n\n\n\n More grappling, more swiping, and soon the Sword was on the ground again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Grit and repetition make success. Dani got hold of the aggravating thing. She dragged flicking and swinging down to the utility room, kicked the door open, and made a gift of the Singing Sword to the Imps inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Calling through the door, Dani let them know that they were going to have to enjoy the company of the sword until they told him something useful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He and Muffins set themselves on the floor for a long rest while the Imps considered their options.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n 27 Phalle -415<\/p>\n\n\n\n The thing creeping up the stairs was a red, tall, frog-like horror walking on two legs. It had alarmingly sharp teeth and claws. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Bruni, Cessair, and Brialle stood in the melee. The thing was ridiculously fast, attacking them with claws and bite. It managed to get two good strikes in: one on Cessair and two on Bruni. But, out-numbered \u2014 and frankly, out-smarted \u2014 they dispatched the thing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Like most things in the Shadowfell, the whole undertaking was unpleasant. Even as a corpse, the thing was gooey, slimy, and foul smelling. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And, still, that was less unsettlingly than the thing they ran into next.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In one of the attics, the discovered a small creature \u2014 roughly the size of a small dog \u2014 only, it wasn\u2019t a dog. It was, as best they could tell, a scurrying brain on four legs. It didn\u2019t attack them with teeth and claws, like the other thing. This creature tried to get into their head with psychic attacks probing their thoughts and will.<\/p>\n\n\n\n On the whole, razor-sharp teeth are preferable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Fortunately, they managed to discover and defeat the creature before it could do much harm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The party was left with the impression that these creatures were ambushers \u2014 living traps of sorts, and that much of the Shadowfell would behave this way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The dangers settled, the party returned to the office, discovering nothing especially useful. Still, Maeglin\u2019s plan wasn\u2019t to use anything they found there. His plan was to get into the office, and return to the material from inside it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s when Maeglin released the rub to his plan was that he could only travel into OR out of the Shadowfell once a day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They were about to spend a long, creepy, but fortunately uneventful night in a place few want to sleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The next morning, when they returned to the Material, fully expecting to be inside the office \u2014 they found themselves frustratingly back to the beginning again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n They were back outside the door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n (See the note 1 at the end)<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n 28 Phalle -415 (New Year\u2019s Eve)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dani woke up to the sound of the Singing Sword banging against the door to the Utility Room. She found herself thinking about the strangely animated, seemingly unstoppable, and relentlessly dangerous object\u2026 and she started to laugh. It was simply the funniest thing she had ever encountered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Muffins, for his part, had settled into an even deeper funk than his normal sulking. He couldn\u2019t be bothered to get up off the floor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dani heard the party arrive back from the Shadowfell, and shortly afterwards, she heard the sound of fighting. Deadly combat and lethal spells were being exchanged in the house. And, at the thought of it, Dani couldn\u2019t stop laughing. Now, *that* was funny!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Muffins didn\u2019t care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n 28 Phalle -415 (New Year\u2019s Eve)<\/p>\n\n\n\n The party outside the door began a \u2014 vigorous \u2014 discussion? <\/p>\n\n\n\n The party was about as fed up with that door as Maeglin was with ravens. When going over everything that happened to them, all that they knew and experienced, in an attempt to sort through the clues, Maeglin stumbled over the phrase, \u201cTake the steps, the steps to see.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The door opened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Baron was not in the room. Instead they found Arthur, the Night Butler.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He was pouring through the papers on the desk, which they had seen a version of in the Shadowfell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A fight ensued. Arthur called to his patron, \u201cShub-Niggurath, come to my aid!\u201d He invoked a spell, drawing the moisture out of the room, condensing the little dampness that could be found in the air, which crystalized as ice around his body. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Maeglin, quick on his feet rushed in and took up position waiting for the others to attack Arthur before he would strike. Bruni, on the other hand, was caught flat footed and off balance. Maeglin would have to wait.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the meantime, Cessair, Brielle, and Celaena unleashed their magic. Celaena struck Arthur with an ice knife that savagely pierced his icy armor \u2014 before it exploded, injuring both Arthur and Maeglin, who was now standing next to Arthur. Then, Brialle blinded him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Last into the fight, Bruni stormed into the room in a rage (as she is likely to greet most situations) and clobbered Arthur with her tankard. The blow hurt Arthur, but it ended up hurting Bruni much more. Arthur\u2019s strange armor struck back with burning cold in retaliation. And, then, Maeglin struck. It was a devastating sneak attack, dealing serious injury to the Arthur \u2014 and serious injury to Maeglin in return as Arthur\u2019s frozen armor struck back. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Maeglin struck again, and this time, the armor was expended, There was no more harm it could cause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Arthur, looking especially rough, blinded, and vastly outnumbered had to make a decision to stay or go. He went with \u201cgo.\u201d His form flickered and suddenly vanished into a shadowy mist. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The party stood in the office, finally, victorious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n Note 1:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let me explain how you ended up outside the office and not in it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It was the end of the night, and I wanted to see if I could get you into the office by the end of the game: it good plot point to close the chapter and set up the next game. So, to speed things up, I cut a bit out of the adventure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What WOULD have happened had it been about an hour earlier or so was\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n You would have found yourself in an empty room in the Estate on the Material Plane. It would be dusty, vacant of furnishing or artwork, with peeling wall paper and water stains on the ceiling. The door would have been an ordinary door. When you opened the door, it would have opened to the hall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If one of you exited the room and closed the door, you would be faced with the door that could not be opened. Everyone in the room would be looking an ordinary door. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If the people in the room opened the door, they would see the other party member standing in the hall. The party member would not see into the room. They would still see the mysterious door. If someone exited the empty room inside, it would appear to the person in the hall as if someone were walking through the mysterious door. And, then, all they would see looking back would be the mysterious door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If someone in the room, with the door open, were looking at the rest of the party, heard someone say, \u201cTake the steps, the steps to see,\u201d then the people in the room would see (first a look of astonishment) and then the strange sight of someone walking into the room \u2014 but not actually ever stepping into the room they were standing in. The people walking forward would just disappear. <\/p>\n\n\n\n These details are helpful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n Note 2<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is such an extraordinary moment of sheer dumb luck I have to let you know what happened, or what\u2019s called an \u201cunzip.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Arthur\u2019s armor should have torn you apart. It did not because of your extraordinary luck. <\/p>\n\n\n\n (1) Bruni rolled a four on initiative<\/p>\n\n\n\n (2) Maeglin rolled in the mid-20s, but he chose to hold his action rather than using his ability to disengage without drawing an attack of opportunity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n (3) Ice Knife is a Ranged Attack<\/p>\n\n\n\n The armor deals a very high amount of damage to any melee attack. If either Bruni or Maeglin had chosen to strike with both main and offhand attacks while that armor was up, it would have likely killed the attacker in that round. It was well within reason that Cessair, Brialle, and Celaena would have finished the fight successfully, but only after the either Bruni or Maeglin was down to zero hit points.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Only, Maeglin held the action, Ice Knife knocked down Arthur\u2019s hit points signficantly, and by the time Maeglin was able to really sock it to Arthur, the armor was down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, because Arthur was blind, he couldn\u2019t use other spells in his arsenal without likely killing himself in the process. The next thing that would have unleashed would likely have reduced two or more in the party to zero hit points. As it was, it would have been more likely to reduce Arthur to zero, also. He had escape options, so he used them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Had Bruni gone before Celaena and Brialle, that would have been a very, very different experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A four wasn\u2019t nearly the worst initiative Bruni could have rolled. It was quite close the the absolutely best initiative she could have rolled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n In a parallel universe, young Ralphie is told repeatedly that he will put an eye out, until he very nearly does.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n In a universe closer to home, there are the Blightwalkers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Blightwalkers are an order of especially humorless and dedicated servants to the cause of getting all of this \u2018patalogical idiocy under control, for once and for all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The cataclysm that produced the aftermath was sufficiently violent that it cracked a content in two, separating Gloriana and Wolkenkuckucksland from Mirpiyut with a rift that now connecting the Great Northern and Southern Oceans. The blast leveled nearly every structure on the planet, and it returned civilization (it it were) to about where it was before the invention of the written language. <\/p>\n\n\n\n No one knows how long things remained in that state, as people were marking time not in the summing of years as much as counting the number of times the verb \u201cbegat\u201d had been used.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The cataclysm also left the world engulfed in places in a fields of highly radiant \u2018patalogical energy. Things in these fields of energy could become \u2014 unpredictable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Worse still, the artifacts created by these Sorcerers tended to radiate deadly amounts of \u2018patalogical energy, producing all sort of ill-effects, and serving as the most coveted holiday gift for the up-and-coming tyrant on Long Night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Enough was enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That amount of power is simply too much power for mortals to attempt to command.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, so, an order arose with the specific goal of collecting highly-radiant artifacts so they could be locked away from dangerous misuse and, thus, preventing sorcery from taking root in the world again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Blightwalkers might well described as strident in their cause. They have experienced the suffering and destruction of sorcery, and that shapes an absolute and unyielding commitment to preventing another cataclysm\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026 As we shall see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n Having gained entry into The Baron\u2019s Inter-Dimensional Office, the party began the investigation \u2014 or looting \u2014 depending on your mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n First and foremost, Bruni discovered and took the Moon Stein. This is a large, heavy and (cheaply) bejeweled (in stones of greens and blues) beer stein that glows faintly of moonlight. It makes quite an impression on a person, especially when swung with great force.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maeglin carefully examined the room, uncovering a surprising number items and clues. <\/p>\n\n\n\n First, on the desk they discovered the Baron\u2019s diary, which chronicled the Baron\u2019s experiments up to the moment of his disappearance \u2014 including a final entry that appears to have been written by someone else. In the journal, they noted a reference to the Baron\u2019s travel bag, in which he noted he kept 10K gold of spending money and a flying carpet for getting about place to place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n (A 25 Investigation will turn up quite a bit.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Also on the desk they noted the a Tome the Baron had been working on. Thousands of pages long, this three foot-by-three foot book contained a long string of symbols. These symbols resembled, in may ways, Celestial. They deduced it was a code of some sort, but they could not make out the nature of it. Toward the very end of the book, they found sheets of paper had been inserted, also featuring characters of these encoded Celestial markings. On the pages with the inserted pages, the Tome featured frequent strike-outs in the encoded text.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Near the book, they found a well-crafted paint brush and four pots of paint. Braille used the brush and paint to draw a squirrel on one of the sheets of paper. As she completed the drawing, the squirrel began display depth and substance, until it came fully into being. And, now, suddenly coming inotbeing, it saw that it be surrounded by a bunch of people much lager than itself. It shrieked in terror and made for the door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n On a coat rack in the corner of the room, they found a coat rack that contained the Baron\u2019s travel attire and travel bag. They surmised this was a bag of holding, which contained a flying carpet suitable for carrying three normal-sized creatures. They divided up the money, less Muffin\u2019s share.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Well, we\u2019ll get to Muffins in a minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They searched the bookshelves, and in particular Celeana found a books about the Pataphysicists, a biography of Clineman, and a book about someone or something called Ubu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Also, under a foot of the desk, Maeglin discovered a playing card. It appears to be hand painted, not pressed from block and ink. The card was the Queen of Diamonds, also known as the \u201cMoon Card.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n After that, they ascended the stairs, and things got interesting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n When they opened the trap at the top of the spiral staircase, passage to the hall in the mansion closed. When they exited to the roof, they were clearly on the roof of the tower, but the tower was not attached to the Estate. Rather, they were on a Tower\u2026 towering (is it were)\u2026 perhaps a mile from the surface of the city below.<\/p>\n\n\n\n On the Tower, they were protected from wind and elements \u2014 and perhaps more \u2014 by a magic sphere. The sphere appeared to be related to fifteen glowing globes. Ten were centered overhead, tightly packed and vibrating with energy \u2014 five brightly glowing, five dimly glowing Five orbited outside the magic sphere, two in an inner orbit and three in an outer orbit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n When they looked out, they saw a mountain top looming, only its peak didn\u2019t rise vertically to the sky. It loomed horizontally. Looking over their shoulder to the right, the could see it summit to a snow-covered peak. Looking to their left, they could see its base disappear into the clouds below. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Looking down from the tower, they could see a long, narrow city stretching out beneath them. Following the cityscape, they found their eyes rising to the horizon, until they could see the city continue over their heads and wrapping around behind them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There was no visible way down the tower. They spread the flying carpet, but realized they didn\u2019t know the word that could activate it. They tried several different words and phrases, but failed to invoke the carpet\u2019s enchantment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In one corner of the tower top, they noted a large, brass telescope.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, that\u2019s where things in this sideways world went especially sideways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maeglin carefully looked through the telescope without touching it, and he saw it pointed at three planets: a small, a medium, and a large one in a sequence. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Dani immediately determined the telescope a dangerous \u2018patalogical artifact. She and Maeglin together used the portable hole to cover and then surround the telescope, creating the six-by-six pocket dimension beneath the telescope, at which point, it dropped in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dani closed the bag, and she declared the telescope off limits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maeglin, however, wanted to continue to study the telescope. Dani would not allow it, having secured it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This turned into an argument.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The argument turned sideways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maeglin decided to draw his knives. Dani, attuned to a Sword Sword of Warning (taken from the Captain of the Watch in the town of Seaside on their first night on the Island), was immediately alerted to the danger\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n ROLL INITIATIVE!<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, this will be the subject of many an argument for many a day to come. Dani will correctly point out that Maeglin *drew* first. Maeglin will correctly point out that Dani *struck* first. Arguments over the significance of these verbs rage on today, wherever alcohol is served.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dani struck out twice at Maeglin, missing with each blow. Maeglin struck back, savaging Dani. Bruni clobbered him with the stein. Maeglin struck again, and Dani fell unconscious and dying. <\/p>\n\n\n\n A healing potion later, Dani revived to see her path to the exit blocked, Throwing the bag over the side meant someone, anyone, could find it. Surrendering the bag meant turning over the telescope and all the other contents of the bag to people who could not be trusted with it. There was only one thing to do: Give up her life protecting the world from the dangers of patalogical artifacts \u2014 if only a gesture, it would be a final one. She struck out at Maeglin, again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Bruni and Maeglin struck Dani down a second time, but not before Brielle decided that two against one just wasn\u2019t cricket. Brielle lit up Maeglin with a bolt of radiant energy (which travelled \u201cdown\u201d from the heavens before turned at ninety degrees to strike him. Brielle felt the point was made.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Before reviving Dani, this time, the bag was taken from Dani. Once revived, Bruni grabbled and held on to her. Bruni easily managed Dani, at one point threatening to drag her over the edge. Maeglin attempted to shackle her, but even grappled, Dani managed to squirm out of the shackles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maeglin and Dani will point out, when a discussion of who was in the right and who was in the wrong, that they had been trying, in their view, to reason with Dani. They asked \u2014 or told, depending on where you are standing on the subject \u2014 Dani to surrender her Portable Hole and stand down. Dani, in turn, will be quick to point out that if there were one thing that either of them could say to make the matter worse \u2014 it would be precisely that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Celeana eventually opened the bag, spreading out on the floor of the tower. Dani continued to declare the telescope to be an extremely dangerous object and demanded that the party return the bag to her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maeglin reached into the Portable Hole to drag the telescope out, at which point Maeglin learned\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026 Dani was exactly correct in assessing the telescope as being an extremely dangerous \u2018patalogical object.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The telescope discharged a massive (10d6) grounding of force energy directly into Maeglin. Fortunately, Maeglin was on the ground of the tower when he touched, which prevented him from being flung over the side they way Forf had been thrown back when he touched Grimble\u2019s Loom).<\/p>\n\n\n\n At this point, with Dani bloody barely standing and Maeglin smoking from both radiant and force energy \u2014 everyone had lost their interest in continuing this fight. Brielle started a Prayer of Healing, some potions were taken, and feelings remained\u2026 tense. <\/p>\n\n\n\n In the end, Dani retained control of the Portable Hole requisitioned by Blightwalkers to her, for which she had signed for and vowed to protect before receiving (details in backstories are, by the way, very helpful when making snap decisions, all the way around).<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was generally agreed that they should exit the Estate as quickly as possible. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Celaena had gotten what she needed from the library. The party had money and items. Cessair and Bruni, however, had not yet secured a signature on the invoice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Unable to convince Muffins to leave on his own accord, they left him behind to his particular madness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The party, unable to make the journey to Sea Side before nightfall decided to make an awkward and uncomfortable camp.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maeglin wrestled with a personal decision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dani turned to Brialle to help protect her bag from others during the night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, miles away, the Banshee they had encountered on the first night on the island, detected them. It reached them by the third watch. Maeglin on watch failed to detect its approach. Within thirty feet of the party, the Banshee unleashed its deadly howl. Celeana, Dani, and Brielle instantly fell unconscious, dying. Bruni and Maeglin attacked the banshee while Cessair rushed to revive the others in the party. The Banshee did its damage, but in the end was quickly defeated. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The party completed their rest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, when the sun rose, the effect of the island had taken its toll on all of them. Cessair met the dawn with the sudden realization that she really did like killing people, after all. Bruni awoke realizing that she couldn\u2019t trust anyone in the party \u2014 except Dani. Celeana awoke feeling tired and annoyed at how everyone was judging her all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ironically enough, Maeglin awoke to the overwhelming certainty that he was haunted by forces that were out to get him, which turns out to be an outlook about the world he already labored under. (Sometimes, I think the dice are sentient)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Brialle started to feel the effects of the island\u2019s madness taking hold of her, when she heard a voice in her head \u2014 a patronly, irritable, school-master\u2019s voice \u2014 tell her, \u201cShake it off, you stupid girl! It\u2019s an illusion!\u201d She felt the effects of madness leave her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Leaving the island quite a bit more wealth and quite a bit less sane, the party made their way to Sea Side. Along the way, the realized they were being pursued by spirits of one kind or another. There were too many of them to safely fight \u2014 especially in their currently state \u2014 so they made the best choice imaginable. They legged it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When they got to the dock, they found the boat they used to sail to the island missing (possibly in the possession of a goblin with a paper m\u00e2ch\u00e9 duck on his helmet). Tied to the docks was the boat that Cessair and Bruni used to get to the island. This was far too small to get them off the island. It was large enough, however, to get them to one of the ships in the harbor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Naturally, they picked the largest and grandest of them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And, there they ended up, flopped out on the deck of the ship, exhausted, driven to madness, and narrowly alive. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Behind them on the shore, the souls of the inhabitants of the Island of Craptopia lingered for a moment, then disputed back into the island \u2014 along with Muffins and three casks of whiskey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Phalle 23, -415 to Absolu 1, -414 Grimble is troubled by what he sees or does not see on his loom. He is further troubled by Devils and Demons fighting with each other over the Chicken. Grimble requests help from … Continue reading <\/figure>\n\n\n\n