Phalle 7 to Phalle 22, -415<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Six adventurers travel to The Many Miserable Isles to be taught by Grimble Grumble, a Gnome. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Among them is a Cleric of the Goddess of Small Streams and Domesticated Animals, who goes by the name of Brialle. The cleric that is. The Goddess of Small Streams and Domesticated Animals goes by many names, and in this locale it\u2019s Brigantia. Brialle has been sent by the elders of her priority to learn the art of Adventuring because she is reeking mayhem throughout the place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Along the way Brialle is joined by an Aasimar (though not many people know what an Aasimar is) and a mopey Half-Elf accompanying her. Grimble will not let them into the Dojo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Dojo is a small farm surrounded by a wooden stockade. There is a long house, a barn, stables, gardens, and most notably at the center of it all \u2014 a large, ornate Loom<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n There are two inhabitants of the Dojo: Grimble Grumble and Collman. Grimble is old, cantankerous, and spends a lot of time at The Loom. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Before the raid, Grimble is at The Loom confused and troubled. He keeps weaving and undoing, then weaving again.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Collman is a very large and muscular\u2026 human? He is scarred and tattooed, bald, and surprisingly gentle and caring with the animals on the farm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Both, Celaena will later discover (from a book in Baron Saturday\u2019s Library) were Generals of the Pataphor<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Don\u2019t forget about the Loom<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the stables, there is a Chicken, an Emu, a Platypus, and \u2014 thanks to Brialle \u2014 a Donkey. There is a fifth stall. It is empty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Grimble will not let Celaena into the Dojo, and so she and Maeglin the Half-Elf are stuck out side of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Why does Grimble refuse to let Celaena in?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Maeglin, by the way, talks to crows. More to the point, the crows talk to him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Why are crows talking to Maeglin?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n While Brialle and her companions are being taught adventuring by Grimble, a strangely dressed (man?) with a very bad haircut meets Celaena and Maeglin in the Shadowfell<\/strong>. He introduces himself as Veggie. Veggie begins teaching them the basics of Adventuring. It involves a mimic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n (The bad haircut is an important clue to something. Also, about the time Veggie is teaching Celaena and Maeglin, Veggie and Flex are having a very important conversation at sea<\/strong>).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Fighting the mimic, the party is reunited on the Material Plane in the Dojo, where Grimble changes his mind (Why?<\/strong>) and allows Celaena and Maeglin to remain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Phil the Emu gets loose, and the party has to capture him and return him to the stables with the Chicken, the Platypus, and the Donkey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There is a raid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n An army of skeletal warriors attack the stockage. Collman advances against the army, alone, pulls a tree out of the ground<\/strong> and begins to bash the attackers to bits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Grimble opens a portal above them and calls down meteors to obliterate the attackers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n (Many miles \u2014 and a planar shift away \u2014 Baron Saturday witnesses this event while peering through The Telescope.)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Two imps, Flywheel and Rivelli, steal the chicken in all of the confusion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Imps are devils. Devils are Infernals.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The party pursues the Imps to rescue the Chicken.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Flywheel and Rivelli are killed in the fight (and there goes a whole subplot, but well done party \u2014 especially Celaena<\/strong>). <\/p>\n\n\n\n The fight for the Chicken is a three-way fight between the party, Devils, and Demons (who are supposed to be allied in the eternal war against the Celestials<\/strong>).<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0Unnoticed at the time, watching all of this was a Duck.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n 7 Phalle, -415<\/p>\n\n\n\n Late summer, and just a few weeks from the New Year in Ur, five strangers met along the shoreline at the end of the Useless Peninsula. <\/p>\n\n\n\n They were waiting for a boat to take them to the Adventuring School of Grimble Grumble..<\/p>\n\n\n\n On the way, they saw what is left of Merdreterre after the Global Thaumaturgical War \u2014 mostly turnip fields \u2014 some wheat, some pasture, but mostly turnips. <\/p>\n\n\n\n They passed windmills being worked by farmers climbing to the top of the windmill, jumping on frames to the sails and using their weight to carry them to the bottom. <\/p>\n\n\n\n They passed the high radiant magic zones of \u2018patalogical energy. Some cows had made their way through a fence, and now they were blinking around the pasture, as at least one wizard from the Merdreterre Institute of Thaumaturgy clambered up the hill trailing acolytes to deal with the problem. <\/p>\n\n\n\n As they went further north, they encountered a set of giant, stone tentacles reaching up from the ground \u2014 not quite certain what they were – or were not \u2014 attached to below ground. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Finally, they came to the line of demarcation where the fields end and the devastation of one of the direct hits from the Global Thaumaturgical War laid the ground barren.<\/p>\n\n\n\n From there they proceeded by foot, then by boat, to the isle where Grimble Grumble teaches students how to become \u201cAdventurers,\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Adventuring is an occupation that involves willingly entering into the most dangerous and radiant fallout zones, and then absconding with anything valuable they find there before they are killed by the creatures they find there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Grimble\u2019s Dojo is located in The Many Miserable Isles at the northern end of Merdreterre, at the entrance to the Inland Sea of Misery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The new students find themselves a wooden stockade surrounding a long house, a barn, some stables, and a garden. At the center of all of this is a loom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Grimble refuses entry to one of the companions, named Celaena. Celaena is an Aasimar <\/p>\n\n\n\n A mopey, emo half-elf named Maeglin agreed to stay with Celaena, which is a level of commitment that seems unlikely from the aspiring rogue. Maeglin assists Celaena to get into the dojo \u2014 or at least a version of it \u2014 by using an object he possesses that takes the two of them into the Shadowfell. A parallel plane of existence, the Shadowfell reflects the Material, only with macabre representations of the same things you\u2019d find in the material. In this world of grey, they meet a surprisingly colorful \u2014 creature? \u2014 who calls himself \u201cVeggie.\u201d(2) Veggie takes on the task of starting to prepare Celaena and Maeglin for their new occupation as adventurers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Meanwhile, in the real world, Gregory, Forf, and Tharla meet a new companion, Brialle, who is already at the dojo. Gregory is an aspiring wizard who draws the arcane out of the background radiation of \u2018pataphysical energy in the universe itself, channeled through material components. Forf is a Firbolg devotee of Pan, who grants Forf the power to draw \u2018pataphysical energy directly from nature itself, using the symbol of a pan flute as a focus. Tharla is a powerful and nimble wood-elf, adept with a bow and with two short swords. Brialle is an aspiring Cleric of Life serving the goddess of domesticated animals and rivers, who is spending more time rescuing small animals in need than learning the rigorous arts of the adventurer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n While Grimble teaches Gregory, Tharla, Brialle and Forf to attack and defeat training dummies, Veggie teaches the same lessons to Calaena and Maeglin \u2014 only they see the training dummies as scarecrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, speaking of crows, there are two crows who seem to be hanging around Maeglin and Calaena, and they seem to be laughing at Maeglin a great deal. Maeglin seems used to this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n While learning to detect traps and open locks, Maeglin \u2014 the following order \u2014 finds a small onyx figure of a dog with a tag on it \u201cfor Brialle,\u201d a letter address to Death care of Maeglin, and a Mimic who transforms from a chest into its natural form as an Aberration of the Shadowfell, and then it promptly attacks Maeglin. Curiously, and to Grimble\u2019s great irritation, the Mimic, Celaena, and Maeglin seep through a weak point in the planes, appearing in Grimble\u2019s dojo. He instructs his students to kill the Aberration, while he consults his loom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Working together, the aspiring adventurers defeat the mimc, only to be surprised when a rhinoceros materializes above Maeglin and flattens him in an instant. Maeglin, unconscious, fails his three death savings throws, but before Death can claim him (or more to the point, before Death can claim the letter addressed to him), Forf rescues Maeglin \u2014 and Maeglin is restored to life still in possession of the letter addressed to Death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Later, the adventures \u2014 who now include Caleana and Maeglin, now that the Mimic drug them out of the Shadowfell \u2014 have to work together to capture Phil the Emu, who has \u201cgotten out of his pen.\u201d With animal handling, acrobatics, intimidation (yes, the emo rogue did manage to intimidate an emu, \u2018coz that\u2019s D&D, folks), and some other crafty inventiveness, they safely return Phil to his pen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Through out, the adventurers are visited by the Personifications, who are manifestations of abstractions made real following the Global Thaumaturgical War. Irony visits Maeglin who rolled a 1 and 20 in succession. Maeglin meets Death when he is crushed by a rhinoceros. And, Gregory meets Sadness when several spells fail in a row.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There is not much time to rest, however, because the dojo is attacked by a small army of terrifying undead soldiers. Grimble orders the adventurers to the forge, while he and Malcom engage the army. It\u2019s not a fair fight. Grimble calls down, among other things, several meteor strikes, while Malcom pulls a tree from the ground and works his way through the skeletal army with ease.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It seems like the frontal attack was a diversion for a group of kobolds to make their way over the fence. Only, the kobolds discover that Grimble has positioned the adventurers in the forge. The adventurers quickly stop the kobolds, only to discover\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n THE CHICKEN HAS BEEN TAKEN!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tharla identifies the tracks of three goblins, who turn out to be Nix, Blix, and Flix, have made off with the chicken while invisible when the adventurers were distracted by the kobolds. Forf tries to cut off their escape with a moonbeam, but misses them by only ten feet \u2014 they have just made it outside the gate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The adventures pursue the goblins, with Forf standing guard at the dojo in case there\u2019s further mischief there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n At the river, the adventurers split up, with Brialle and Calaena keeping to the road and Gregory, Tharla, and Maeglin following the tack to the ford. Here, good choices and teamwork stand out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Gregory jumps on Tharla\u2019s shoulders so, they can move faster together through woods, and as a result when Blix and Flix release boulders on them from the western side of the river, Tharla\u2019s quick reactions save them both.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Meanwhile, Calaena perceives \u2014 even though Nix is invisible \u2014 that there definitely is a goblin with a chicken on the other side of the bridge, and pursues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Brialle, however, stops, concerned there is a trap waiting for them. There is. Two crows land other either side of Brialle and transform into the imps. They are Flywheel and Ravelli(3). Before they can cut the ropes to the bridge, Brialle and Maeglin force Flywheel and Ravelli to retreat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The chase continues until they reach the shore of the island, where Nix, Blix, and Flix have taken the chicken to the end of the dock, apparently waiting on a boat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Defending the dock is the Goblin boss, the Grand Duck Grond. The goblins, curiously enough, wear hats shaped like ducks. Weird. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Tharla engages the Grand Duck Grond, supported by Brialle, Gregory, and Calaena \u2014 while Maeglin tries to flank the Grand Duck. On his way past Brialle, Maeglin manages to slip the Onyx Figurine of a dog into her pocket.<\/p>\n\n\n\n During the fight, Trentino \u2014 a bone devil \u2014 appears with Flywheel and Ravelli. And, this is where luck and good choices once again favor the adventures. Before any of the adventures engage or attack the bone devil, Trentino focuses his attention on the biggest threat on the field: The Grand Duck Grond.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Forf realizes the dojo is secure, joins the chase.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The fight that follows is close. Tharla and Maeglin are both nearly killed, and both are forced to retreat. But, the adventurers are able together to defeat both the devils and the goblins. While this is taking place, Flywheel and Ravelli are trying to get the chicken away from Nix. Ravelli is killed with arrows, but Flywheel manages to wrestle the chicken away from Nix \u2014 and Flywheel legs it\u2026 or more to the point, wings it, flying away at high speed. At this point, the DM makes a huge mistake failing to use Flywheels ability to turn himself invisible (we all make mistakes), and with Flywheel just at the edge Calaena\u2019s range for scorching ray, Calaena vaporizes Flywheel and frees the chicken.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The chicken is rescued. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And that is where we concluded the game for the evening.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Phalle 7 to Phalle 22, -415 Six adventurers travel to The Many Miserable Isles to be taught by Grimble Grumble, a Gnome. Among them is a Cleric of the Goddess of Small Streams and Domesticated Animals, who goes by the … Continue reading